A Blast From Paris
by DingoAteMySpiderManCrazy
Summary: Blaine's unwanted leering gets interrupted by a welcome Parisian visitor.


_**A/N: This is a KurtBastian one-shot, and my first one at that, so if you could R&R that would be super awesome...**_

_**I'm using a french translator, because I know very little french... like enough to get me out of conversations or order a glass of wine...so I apologise for any mistakes or offences made.**_

_**In this there will be Blaine&Rachel!Bashing, because I don't like the characters all that much... but yet I love DC and LM... (We'll ignore the inherent contradiction there)**_

_**Anyways. ONWARDS!**_

_A Blast from Paris_

It was June.

It was a Monday.

It was the dullest Monday in the history of all recorded Mondays.

Kurt was unsure if wanting to set himself on fire was a result of this extremely tedious Monday or his ex-best friends blatent leering as he played Fruit Ninja in Glee Club, awaiting Mr. Schue's arrival. He was pretty sure it was a combination of the two.

Blaine Anderson, was this ex-best friend.

When Kurt met him at Dalton, he was shocked that anyone could have so much heart. He had listened to Kurt when no-one else around him would, and gave him support when he needed it, and he was really grateful for that.

Sure, he found him attractive, and there was a little Hero-Worship, but seeing as Kurt himself was off the market, he just wasn't interested in anything more than friendship.

Yes, they went out for coffee, and to theaters, and movies and school together and talked on the phone when Kurt went home for the weekend, but Kurt was under the impression that he had a gay best friend that he could relate to and talk to, which was an entirely new concept to him.

Blaine got a different impression.

Kurt was apparently (according to Nick and Jeff) ignorant of Blaine's puppy-eyed longing and lust-filled leering for the time-span of 4 months.

Kurt still remembered with clarity they day he found out about Blaine's wayward and unwanted affections.

_Flashback_

_Kurt was sitting at a table in Senior Commons, a place Nick and Jeff had assured him he was allowed to frequent._

_As he decorated Pavarotti's casket, he thought back to his rendition of 'Blackbird'._

_He wasn't really that sad about the passing of the bird. He was more singing about how he felt at Dalton; trapped. He was caged, no fabulous outfits, no speaking out, no standing out. And he hated it. How relieved he felt when his father told him that he could only continue there for a couple more weeks because the tuition was costing him an arm and a leg. He had yet to tell his best friend,or his boyfriend, or his Nick and Jeff ( really, they were just in a league of their own.. mostly at their own persistant request). _

_Then Blaine walks in, asking what the different objects on the table relate to._

_"I'm decorating Pavarotti's casket" _

_"Well finish up," he replied, in a fashion he thought was flirty "I have the perfect song for our number and I think we should practice"_

_"Do tell.."_

_"Candles, by Hey Monday" he said expectantly, as if waiting for Kurt to squeal with joy._

_"I'm impressed," Kurt returned cooly, "your usually so top 40."_

_"Well-I just- wanted something a little more _emotional_" Blaine said flirtasiouly, immediately setting off alarm bells in Kurt's head, making him sit up straight, preparing for attack... the tone of voice he was familar with, just not from Blaine... and he never wanted to hear it from Blaine._

_"Why did you pick me to sing that song with?" Kurt asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes, differemy alterior motives flying through his mind, each slightly more ludicrious than the last._

_"Kurt, there is a moment, when you say to yourself; 'oh.. there you are. I've been looking for you forever'," He then leaned over to Kurt and placed his hand over Kurt's on the table, Kurt stiffening immediately, extremely alarmed at this point._

_"Watching you do Blackbird this week... that was the moment for me... about you," he countinued, oblivious to Kurt's discomfort and search for any possible exit._

_"You move me Kurt... and this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you"_ _Blaine stated, and then he began to lean over to Kurt, clearly seeking a kiss._

_Kurt leapt up, so Blaine's kiss-rape-attempt was in his now vactated chair._

_"Okay," Kurt started, exceedingly disturbed and worried, "I don't really know where you got the idea that I liked you in a romantic fashion, but wherever it came from, I apologise. I'm sorry Blaine, I don't think about you that way and am very, very, _very_, doubtful that I ever will. So I'm sorry, but no."_

_"What the hell Kurt?," Blaine questioned at an increasing volume, "You said you liked me on Valentines Day! You wouldn't have got over me that fast!"_

_"Uh, no. I'm pretty sure that if we had continued the conversation in the Lima Bean, you would have discovered how relieved I was that you didn't sing to me, seeing as I'm spoken for already, and that I would reccommend that you look into your song choices more before singing a highly innapproriate song in a very public setting."_

_"What? You're already spoken for? You've never said anything about a boyfriend to anyone here!" Blaine shouted angrily, saliva shooting from his mouth in all directions, making Kurt wrinkle his nose in digust._

_"I told Nick and Jeff actually, and I have told you before, when I first came to Dalton and we were talking in here with coffee. I said 'nobody seems to notice, and my boyfriend is Paris and can't do anything to help me right now'. Did you seriously not notice? Or all the times I'm sat around texting and having a lot of different phone calls that I leave the room to answer?"_

_"He's in Paris huh? I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I kept you company, kept you warm at night. He doesn't have to know anything." Blaine flirted (Read: attempted flirting) moving closer to Kurt._

_"Actually," Kurt said tersely, moving towards the open door, "I'm certain that both he and I _would_ mind, so I'll have to turn that ever so_ generous_ option down. Please don't try this again. Goodbye Blaine." _

_And Kurt turned and strut out of the room._

_End of flashback_

Sadly, in Kurt's opinion, Blaine continued to leer and hit on Kurt, at every opportunity, much to his discomfort.

At Dalton, whenever in the same room, Blaine would sidle up to Kurt and start whispering crude things into his ear about what they could do/be together (Kurt never blushed anymore, his boyfriend was much worse - or better - at dirty talk than Blaine, and was the only one who could turn him on with it. Anyone else just creeped him out. A lot.)

After Kurt transferred back to McKinley, he was much happier without bullying and creepy obsessed ex-best friends.

Sadly, again, his senior year was not set to be the same. Blaine transferred in another desperate attempt to woo Kurt over to him. Seeing as he was a junior (Kurt's saving grace) they didn't have a lot of classes together, except for Glee and Lunch. Blaine continued to hit on Kurt, and seeing as he hadn't ever seen Kurt's boyfriend, he was convinced he didn't exist, seeing as none of the other New Directions (apart from Finn, Sam, Puck, Brittany or Santana- Blaine hadn't asked them personally, when around others they simply ignored the question and crazed hobbit) knew about him, making him even more determined to make Kurt his.

Kurt was just glad that Blaine didn't know where he lived, because he'd probably follow him there too.

Back to the Glee Club at hand, Mr Schuester had just leapt into the room, and started making his presentation for this weeks irrelevant assignment, mainly directing his words to Blaine, and Rachel, the screeching banshee. They were currently his go-to-duet-ers, much to Finn's annoyance, and Blaine was Rachel's new go-to-gay, much to Kurt's wishes.

Kurt was about to break his new high score on Fruit Ninja, when a knock came upon the choir room door.

Kurt ignored the noise, assuming that it was Ms Pilsbury or Sue or Coach Beiste, and if they wanted him then they could get his attention. He missed the silence that had taken over the choir room.

Then he heard a voice he'd only heard on the phone or on skype for the last 8 months.

"Eh bien bonjour mon copain il sexy," said a silky smooth voice.

(_Well hello my sexy boyfriend)_

Kurt looked up so fast he swore he got whiplash.

Stood, leaning against the doorway, stood a 6ft 3" 18 year old. His hair was a sun-kissed brunet, his eyes were bright green with mischief and love, staring at Kurt. He was wearing black converse, dark blue skinny jeans, and a red and white striped polo shirt, tanned muscled arms folded across his chest, awaiting a response from his boyfriend of 3 years.

Kurt leapt from his chair like it had electrified him, and ran across the room to the intruder.

He leapt into his arms, wrapping his arms tightly under his arms and around his shoulders, squeezing so hard he wasn't entirely certain Sebastian could breathe.

"Sebastian! Qu'est-ce que tu fais ici? Vous n'êtes pas censé être ici pendant encore trois semaines!"

Kurt asked hurriedly, grinning goofily like an idiot.

_(Sebastian! What are you doing here? You're not meant to be here for another three weeks!)_

The majority of the New Directions who were unaware of 'Sebastian' and Kurt's impeccable French skills were sitting in shocked silence.

"Nous n'avons pas eu de rapports sexuels depuis que j'ai quitté pour Paris. Première option que je devais rentrer à la maison que j'ai pris. Et je vous avez manqué."

_(we haven't had sex since I left for Paris. First option I had to get home I took. And I missed you.)_

Kurt's eyes softened and whispered; "Je vous manqué trop Bas. Je t'aime,"_(I missed you too Bas. I love you.)_ and proceeded to lean up and kiss Sebastian full on the mouth with parted lips. He daringly slipped his tongue and swiped it across Sebastian's bottom lip, asking for entrance, which was immediately granted. He took his sweet ass time exploring Sebastian's hot wet mouth, nibbling on his lower lip, drawing a moan from the Parisian student.

When they parted a few moments later, their lust filled eyes met in silent agreement that they would move passed the dry spell when they arrived home.

Sebastian pecked Kurt on the lips again, returning "Je t'aime trop."

Sebastian then looked up at the stunned (except for 5) room, smiling at a blonde.

Said blonde then jumped up, asking excitedly "Kurtie, is this your dolphin?"

When Kurt had nodded, Brittany turned to Bas and began rapidly speaking in French, stunning the room to silence once more.

"Comment êtes-vous Sébastien? Avez-vous vu des chats qui parlent plus comme le Seigneur Tubbington? Comment s'est passé votre internat? Vous continuez à chercher après mon Kurtie!"

_(How are you Sebastian? Have you seen any more talking cats like Lord Tubbington? How was your internship? You keep looking after my Kurtie!)_

"Je suis mieux maintenant que je suis de retour avec Kurt. Non, Je pense que Lord Tubbington est unique en son genre, et mon stage était génial, mais c'est tellement bon d'être chez moi"

_(I'm better now that I'm back with Kurt. No, I think that Lord Tubbington is one of a kind, and my internship was awesome, but its so good to be home again)_

Unfortunately, Rachel Banshee was the first to awaken from her shock, picking up her jaw, she proceeded to rattle off questions like a crazed maniac.

"Who the hell is that Kurt? Why are you kissing? Why are you speaking French? Why can Brittany speak French? Shes... Brittany. Is this the reason you won't go out with Blaine? He's heartbroken you won't give him a chance Kurt!"

"Est-ce la banshee tu m'as parlé?" Sebastian questioned, drawing chuckles from 5 in the room who knew what he was saying, the others looking on in confusion.

_(is this the banshee you told me about?)_

Santana stood from her chair, and walked over to Brittany, wrapping her arms around her waist.

"Man hands, shut the hell up, because seriously, I can't stand it when you sing, let alone talk. In fact, looking at you and your disgusting animal sweaters actually make me want to take you to a priest somewhere to get healed for being so tragically misinformed in the ways of dressing like a normal person," Que snickers from all in the room.

"Anyways, horse-face, this is Kurt's boyfriend, and as you are clearly uneducated and couldn't gather his name from Kurt and Brittany saying it repeatedly, this is the super-sexy-but-tragically-gay Sebastian Smythe. They're speaking French because that's where Meerkat has been for the last 3 years, and because they love fucking with you morons. Brittany can speak French, Spanish, Arabic and Greek, because she's smarter than you. Blaine is a gelled up, stuck up Hobbit stalker asshole who doesn't even deserve the privilege of being in the same room as my Baby Gay. And we don't really give a shit what he does, in all honesty. Does that suffice your need for information, Oh Great Majesty?" Santana finished sarcastically, twirling a piece of Brittany's ponytail between her thumb and forefinger whilst not-so-subtly looking down Brittany's Cheerio's uniform.

"Santana, just for that, you and Brit have 3 free dinners at Breadsticks, on me," Sebastian spoke in English for the first time, still shaking with repressed laughter, earning a grin from Santitany.

His accent was only just there, and only if you were listening for it.

Blaine leapt up from his seat in anger, yelling "He can't love you like I can Kurt! I'm way better for you than that French scum, I helped you when you needed it, you ungrateful bitch!"

At this, Sebastian then walked over to Blaine, and socked him straight on the nose, hearing a satisfying crunch as it broke, blood sputtering out from under neath Blaine's fingers as he applied pressure to the wound.

'Bas looked at him with thinly veiled disgust, and whispered menacingly "You better leave my boyfriend the _fuck_ alone, otherwise this little broken nose will seem tame. Got it?" Blaine nodded frantically, and Sebastian smirked and walked back over to his boyfriend (hopefully soon to be fiance, if tonight went as he planned) and pulled him by the arm from the room, pausing only to shout back;

"Finn, Puck, San, Brit and Sam; I wouldn't come back to the house for a little while... Kurt's going to make me scream... a lot. I may even return the favour."

The last thing he heard before he left were gasps, and groans from 4 out of 5 mentioned; Puck decided to shout "Get it Princess!"

The couple both threw back their heads and laughed, before dashing outside to Sebastian's red Ferrari, to make good on their promise.


End file.
